My most passionate definition of a brave encourager is pulling the gold from ourselves and others. The gold means strengths, gifts, talents, characteristics, ideas, future, destinies. The reason why I say “pull the gold” is because sometimes it’s deep and we can’t “see” it. Like the roots of a tree. When you see unhealthy and unkind behavior in front of your eyes, it is hard to see the gold in that person. There might be a small little budding leaf that has life on it. You seeing this is precisely what they need. When you go really deep, you are even pulling from people’s destinies and future. That is powerful.

A few years ago I realized a few things about encouragement. One, that I was doing it naturally and it actually is a gift and a “thing”. Two, that so often our mouths speak frustrations and difficulties of others. I was “seeing” it more with others. When we are frustrated with other people, these circumstances cloud our view of them. We are so clouded that we can’t see what God sees about the other person. This literally impacts our moods, our lives, our futures and our legacies. I started to write down the idea and then an outline and a chapter came out of me. I didn’t decide to write it until a few people told me they saw me as an author. I needed some encouraging words to make the idea happen!

Absolutely. Part of my journey is struggling with my faith as well. I get it. There are a lot of mysteries and things we can’t tangibly “see” with faith. But then it wouldn’t be faith, would it? Allow yourself to be curious and wonder, enter into being yourself completely with God. Talk to Him like a friend or a buddy. He’s okay with doubt and questions – bring it! He’s a wonderful counselor.

No. This book is not a replacement for therapy. Some people are very resistant to therapy and I would encourage you to re-consider. Just make sure you like your therapist. Often times we don’t want to go to therapy because we don’t find the right fit. This is a book, a guide, a tool and a one-way conversation. You aren’t able to share with me and receive feedback from me as you read it. It is not a replacement for therapy.

There are many people with ministries, books, and businesses who talk about encouragement and empowerment. Here are a few that I recommend.

Websites:

https://ignitinghope.com/
from Steve & Wendy Backlund

Books:

The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

The Culture of Empowerment by Steve Backlund

Anything by Brene Brown – although her topic isn’t specifically encouragement, it is embedded within the topics of connection and vulnerability.

Yes, although it is not a replacement for the Bible. There are opinions in this book that I encourage you to bring to the Lord. The book references the Bible in many instances and some not. However, I brought my knowledge and experience from being a therapist and student of the Lord. I am will always be a learner.

Yes and I even thought about creating a study guide along with it.

I hope the book is easy to read for all backgrounds. As I have grown in my faith I have learned to honor all religions and spheres of faith. I grew up in a Lutheran home but now attend a church with a more Baptist background and now attend a school of ministry with the title “supernatural” in it. I have learned there are charismatics, Word of Faith people, Catholics, Methodists, Lutherans, and many more. I have attended many different churches and conferences and I find God is in all of them. I hope that I write from a perspective that allows you to feel appreciated wherever you are in your background, faith, culture, color or ethnicity.

No. Nothing can “fix” anyone else. We are not God, we are not the Holy Spirit. Danny Silk says “in all relationships we are either pursing the goals of connection (love) or the goal of distance and control (fear)”. Unfortunately, we cannot make people be who we want them to be. However, we can love them unconditionally and pull the gold out of them. This increases you and them to become more of Jesus. When we let go of control and trust that God hears our prayers, and molds our heart and words to match him when we speak, miracles happen. Sometimes this happens right away, sometimes it takes more time. We need to trust in God’s timing and allow God to be God. We can struggle to do that because we want things right now!

Yes. The focus on the book is to pull the gold out of others and yourself. The book teaches how to recognize gold and communicate it to others more effectively. When we do this, people become a better version of themselves. We can move through difficult conversations and situations because we are focusing on what God sees and not the bad behavior or characteristics. Thus, relationships improve over time with the focus on encouragement.